Mind Games
by Jennon-Donnon
Summary: A collection of philosophical nonsense. Rated T for not so obvious language and blatant randomness.
1. Mind Games collectors' edition

_**A/N:** Since Raedric worthily challenged me to a duel to death, I humbly accept it. Here is the most dreaded fanfic stereotype! The Mary Sue! (I don't even know what it means.)

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**Disclaimer: I want to claim Negima, Negima? and Negima? for myself. However, there are two things stopping me: Master Masa Random's restraing order and Raedric. **

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**Parody of Parodies, a.k.a. Jennon-Donnon's revenge.**

**by Jennon-Donnon**

It was a dark and stormy night.

Negi woke up to find himself in Konoka's bed. "Well, isn't that a welcome change?" he asked himself.

When he looked at the person sharing the bed with him, it was... ASUNA!

"EH? ASUNA? WTF FTW?" he hollered.

"Negi-baka, STFU," she complained.

"YTF?" he demanded. And with that, he began casting a spell. "_Rastel Mascir Magister_... Wait, my spell key's too long, I must shorten it... AHA! _RMM_... What was I casting again?"

There was a knock on the door.

"HUTF?" Negi shouted.

"Negi! It's me, K0ñ0ka!"

"EH? K0ñ0ka, WENTF did you start speaking l33t?"

"HUTF cares?" K0ñ0ka replied.

"Then Negi snapped." a mysterious voice said.

"YTF is there a mysterious voice?" Negi screamed.

"All this time, they were in their room." the mysterious voice said again.

"'STFU, mysterious voice!' howled Negi," said the mysterious voice. AGAIN.

"Stop quoting me! I know very well that you're the author!" Negi screeched.

"Eh? How did you know that?" the mysterious voice coming from a mysterious person, which mysteriously turned out to be the mysterious Jennon-Donnon.

"Oh, and stop copying other people's ideas, will you? And to answer your question, I just conveniently ended up with the knowledge." Negi replied.

"When was that?" Jennon-Donnon asked.

"Conveniently, Three years ago," Negi said.

"Screw three years ago. What the hell is up with three years ago, huh? Now you've got people calling me a massive explosion of data a.k.a. technological singularity a.k.a. the potential for auto-evolution, then there're others calling me a massive time-quake, and now people are calling me GOD?" Jennon-Donnon asked.

"Stop conveniently quoting lines from other Animes/Mangas/Novels/Fanfics," Negi said.

"What am I supposed to do, then?" Jennon-Donnon asked.

"Since you're the author, you should try to conveniently place a plot here," Negi said.

"Screw conveniently. I'm trying to be a deviant here," Jennon-Donnon growled.

Suddenly, Yue appeared out of nowhere.

"Is that what you meant?" Jennon-Donnon asked Negi.

"What, girls suddenly appearing out of nowhere? And in my room, at that? Doesn't seem like a plot to me," Negi said with a shrug.

"I tihnk 1t'z olryt," K0ñ0k said.

"STFU, K0ñ0ka. Why are you still here? Why don't you go play with your lesbian lover Secchan?" Jennon-Donnon interrogated.

"OBJECTION! Sh3's n0t my l3$b1n l0v3r! & i+'s $3ccHn!" K0ñ0ka objected.

"Er... Phoenix Wright?" Negi said.

"And your answer is... CORRECT!" K0ñ0ka replied.

"Wow, this is stupid," Jennon-Donnon said.

"STFU. Go and play with your esper boy friends, or alien-made robot-like girls, or time-travelling girls," Negi replied.

"Ahaha! Fic crossover time!" the not-so OOC guy named Raedric said.

"Who the hell are you?" Negi replied.

"Wait! I killed you, remember?" Raedric said.

"Yes you did. But since I'm the GOD of this fic, I conveniently ressurected all of them. Except the hamsters. Those are just too irritating," Jennon-Donnon nonchalantly replied.

With a scream of rage, Raedric brandished his +6 wifebeater mace with double Holy blessings courtesy of Master Masa Random's restraining order.

Jennon-Donnon held his ground and whipped a whip from his whip bag. "Haha! I stole a whip from a random Anime!"

The mace swept the whip out of the way. Gasping for air, Jennon-Donnon gripped his staff. Not that staff! And you're supposed to be me? What the hell is happening here? What happen?

"Somebody set up us the bomb!" the mechanic guy said.

"Who the hell are you?" Jennon-Donnon asked the mechanic guy. But the mechanic guy had vanished out of sight into thin air. And it was humid, too. So the air wasn't exactly that thin.

"Haha! DIE! I will get the rights!" the OOC Raedric said.

"Well, I am the bone of my sword. Steel is my body, and fire is my blood. I have created over a thousand blades. Unaware of loss. Nor aware of gain. Withstood pain to create many weapons. Waiting for one's arrival. I have no regrets, this is the only path. My whole life was 'Unlimited Blade Works,'" Jennon Donnon-chanted.

With that, he pulled out his +32767 double yellow rainbow jelly knife.

"YAAH!" Raedric shouted.

"HYUUGH!" Jennon-Donnon said.

And with a mighty SPLAT, everyone died.

**End

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__****A/N: **Call me a plagiarist or anything you like, but I had to get mine back on Raedric, whatever that means. Hehe, just kidding. This is a parody on parodies, plagiarisms, Mary Sues, OOCs, OCs, self-inserts, bloody baloneys and fish sticks with fried cheese. Yep, When you're hungry after skipping breakfast, you go nuts. Bear with me, people.

_**To Raedric:** We really should collaborate sometime soon._


	2. Mind Games 2nd edition

**Author's Note:** See bottom of page. (Seriously, read the damn fic first.)

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**Mind Games: The Real Deal**

**by JennonDonnon**

It was a dark and not-really stormy night.

A single figure stood among the carnage that occurred in that very dormitory room a few months ago. Panting, waiting. Panting, waiting.

"What the hell am I waiting for?" the figure asked aloud. "And why am I panting?"

"Panting is an endotherm's corrective mechanism which allows excessive body heat to leave the body through evaporation of water in the organism's mouth. That means you've been doing some kind of strenuous physical activity which resulted in cellular respiration, thereby leading to the increase in your body temperature," the figure heard.

"You mean I was running," the figure matter-of-factly said.

"Yes. And Chao can uxx mxxxx."

"Aggh! Spoilers! Damn you, Wikipedia!" the figure, now revealed to be Jennon-Donnon, screamed.

"Seriously, you didn't know that?" the disembodied voice said. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am-"

"You are now known as the Wikipedia Data Integration Entity. I will not allow you to spread your massive amount of spoilers all over the world! I'll kill you! HISS!" Jennon-Donnon lunged at the voice - only to find out what disembodied really meant.

"Hahaha! You can't kill disembodied objects! Disembodied objects are-"

"Disembodied objects are meant to be destroyed! DIE!!!" Jennon-Donnon revealed a very dangerous object: a CD-RW.

"A CD-RW!? HA! You can't kill me with that! A CD-RW is a-" the Wikipedia Data Integration Entity said.

"Who said anything about using it to kill you? It's what inside this that matters." Jennon-Donnon inserted the disc into the nearest computer and started infecting the Wikimedia database with the 'virus'.

"Hahaha! I'm not dead yet!" the Wikipedia Data Integration Entity cried in victory.

"Oh yeah? Let's see you try. What can Chao Linshen do?" Jennon-Donnon asked.

"Chao Linshen can - ERROR! Spoilers must not be read! What? What the-"

"Oh, I just started a macro that will edit every unprotected article in your database!" Jennon-Donnon did the victory dance - as if he could.

"That's not how you do the victory dance! The victory dance is - ERROR!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" His laugh could be heard across the entire internet.

"EH!?" Negi couldn't believe how stupid what he read was.

"What is it, Aniki?" Chamo asked him.

"Oh, it's just this fic I was reading..."

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**Real Author's note:** I'm back... I've been gone for too long! Now I have to endure reading all the chapters and stories I missed... And I need to update, too. Oh well, no cameos for this one, just plain mind games.

**Author's note:** See top of page.


End file.
